Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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