You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
