on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
