she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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