my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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