you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
