New invention idea: vibrating tampons
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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