I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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