I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
You ate ashes out of my bong
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
