David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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