There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
