so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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