And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
