and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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