apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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