So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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