the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
