He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We had to coat check the pizza.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
