there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
