So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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