you have to choose: penises or morals?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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