Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
