There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
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His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
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You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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