I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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