I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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