I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
