wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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