I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
