Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
