so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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