A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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