the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
