ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
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I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
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By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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