Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
