So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize