she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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