i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's always time for handjobs
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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