THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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