It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He better not be in your backpack
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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