To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
