There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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