she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize