no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
