we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
