I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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