ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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