He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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