My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
