Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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