I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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