I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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