dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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