I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
