I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
