she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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