Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
