Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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