stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
