So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
