The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
soo... how was my night?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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