just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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