help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
