I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
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I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
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Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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