after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
