her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
