her vagina looked like bernie madoff
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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