Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Randomize
