You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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